Dr Richard Woolfson's Answer:

Independence is very important in school. Your child will be expected to look after himself, for instance, to hand his coat up on the peg, to attend to himself when at the toilet, to manage his own hygiene, and to follow instructions given to the whole class. And, as you point out, if he isn't independent, he might find himself left out during play times.

That's why it makes sense to raise your expectations of him, at this stage before he starts school. Give him basic responsibilities. Tidying his toys, putting all the pieces of the jigsaw back in the box, cleaning up the paints and paper, are all within his capabilities. Let him know that you expect him to complete these tasks without your help. You can also encourage him to make small choices, such as what jumper he will wear tomorrow or what snack he will have for lunch. Giving him two-choice decisions like this helps him to learn to think for himself. Certainly, you should also give him lots of practice dressing and undressing himself, if he doesn't do that already.

As his independence increases through your increased expectations of him and through these opportunities to stand on his own two feet without you beside him, he'll cope better with his peers in the playground.

Doctor Woolfson's Answer:

When children start school, they differ hugely in their language skills. Some parents are reluctant to teach their child to read before setting foot in the classroom in case they don’t do this properly, some try to teach early reading skills in a systematic manner, and sometimes children spontaneously develop some reading skills in the preschool years. You’ll find that a number of your daughter’s classmates will already have basic reading skills, such as word recognition and maybe even letter recognition, while others will have not started reading at all. But all these individual differences are normal – there will be no expectation that your daughter should be able to read when she starts school.

Rather than worrying about this, however, a better strategy is to speak to the head teacher of your child’s intended school, who will explain their policy on reading, the teaching methods used and the supports parents can provide. The head teacher will also be able to advise you on useful pre-reading activities that you can engage your daughter in right now. What will be definitely be good for your child when she starts school, irrespective of school policy and procedure, is enthusiasm for books, written language and stories. If you continue nurture such a positive attitude towards reading from now until that first day, she’ll be highly motivated when it comes to learning to read in class.

Doctor Woolfson's Answer:

That strategy would certainly avoid tears and tantrums during the game, but in the long-term it won't teach your child how to learn to play a game with rules. And not only that, what's going to happen when he plays a game at a friend's house? He'll expect to win and then explode with rage when the game doesn't go his way. So I strongly suggest you help him now to learn how to follow rules, how to take turns, and how to accept that he cannot always be the winner.

Probably the best way to do this is by playing games with him at home. Choose a game that involves turn-taking (for instance, a match-the-picture game or a simple board game). Smile as you play this, encourage your child to relax and wait patiently for his turn, and show him that you can lose a game without becoming upset. He'll learn from your example. Point out to him, also, that his will friends will be happier playing with him if they know he doesn't lose his temper. The more you practice this at home with your four-year-old, the more comfortable he will become at playing games without tears

Doctor Woolfson's Answer:

The best way to help your child become more sociable is to arrange for as much play experience with others his own age as possible. No matter how much he protests that he doesn’t want such opportunities, arrange them anyway. If possible, supervise the children when they play together – structured play episodes are less threatening to a shy than free-play situations. Before each social opportunity, remind your child to talk to the others, to ask them questions about themselves, and to choose games that involve sharing and interacting.

You can also help by having a good range of toys for them to play with, such as pretend play paramedic figures and toy ambulances, or a large floor puzzle – what matters is to provide lots of games that cannot be played by one person alone. Tell your five-year-old beforehand that you expect him to get involved, and at least to be one of the players in a game. In this structured setting, with your encouragement, your five-year-old’s social skills will increase

Doctor Woolfson's Answer:

Isn’t it amazing how children this age are fascinated by all the bodily functions which adults prefer not to discuss. Expulsions of air and body waste, rude noises, and concealed body parts will typically send a bunch of four-year-olds into peals of laughter! This is partly because they know adults are uncomfortable with such topics, partly because they love to share in-jokes with their peers, and partly because – if you think about – toilet humour is intrinsically funny to many people, whether children or adults. 

  If you want to discourage this, make sure that neither you – nor anyone else – respond with laughter to his toilet humour. Any giggle, smile, or snigger simply reinforces it. Likewise, a negative over-reaction, such as a serious reprimand, also has a similar effect – a strong response to his toilet humour teaches him that this is a great way to get attention from mum, dad or his siblings. In addition, explain to your toddler that you are unhappy when he makes those comments, and that you know he wouldn’t want to do anything that upsets you. Point out that others may feel the same way too. The combination of these strategies will result in a steady decline in this form of humour.

Doctor Woolfson's Answer:

No parent wants to see their child in tears; you probably feel bad when you offer him alternatives to TV. But you are on the right track. I suggest you switch off the television set and get him involved in play with his toys, whether he cries or not. There is nothing wrong with his wanting to watch television programmes (assuming they are good quality and are pitched for his specific age group, of course) but there has to be a limit. Your child should get connected with a range of play activities each day. So grit your teeth, have confidence, and press that “off” button when you thinks he has watched enough!

You’ll find him that he likely to take part in play activities if you play along with him, at least to start with. Try to ignore his tears, switch off the TV, and set out his toys or games on the floor. Start to play with them and encourage him to start playing as well. Don’t worry if he still cries as he plays – he’ll eventually settle down. By all means, continue to let your child watch some television each day if you want, but keep viewing time-limited and as only one part of his daily diet of play activities.